Entomophobia

Entomophobia: the abnormal fear or aversion to insects or other arthropods.

This is what I have. I have gotten away with it my entire life, because I always had someone, i.e. parents, friends, roommates, husband that did not have an aversion to bugs and could help me kill or get rid of them while I cringed against the wall. But, it is truly time to somehow fight this phobia. I just don't know how!!

At some point, every parent has expressed the words, "I don't want to instill my own fears onto my children." Naturally, parents try to hide their weaknesses as best as they can from their little ones. I feel like I am failing in this particular situation. My kids have seen my fear, and I sense they don't believe me when I tell them "It's ok. No big deal," immediately after my initial ear piercing scream. It hasn't quite hit them yet, and they aren't showing fear in bugs (with the exception of bees...but who isn't afraid of bees?) However, if I continue this behavior, I am concerned that one day, they will fear bugs, too. I read books to the kids about bugs to learn all the "wonderful facts" about them and how they live. My stomach is turning the whole time I am reading these facts. The truth is that these books are more for me than for them. Somehow, I need to get over this.

My phobia is more than the fear of the little bugs crawling up my arm, or the simple fact that they are the UGLIEST things known to man! I actually can't tolerate the feeling or the thought of crushing their crunchy bodies or watching them scramble and run away. This is what makes me hyperventilate the most.

I'm trying to get better with hiding my feelings. Once I master doing so, I will truly deserve an Oscar for my performance, because it will truly be the best acting I have ever done!

(In all seriousness...if you have any tips on how I can rid of this horrible phobia, please email me or share some advice!)